It’s 3am and I wake up to my frightened daughter saying, “Mom, I can’t sleep, the wind is too loud.” Funny thing, I hadn’t heard the wind until she woke me up. Then after hearing it I found myself wide awake and thinking about…the house! The day before we had signed papers to make an offer on a house I REALLY wanted. As I lay awake in bed, tons of thoughts ran through my mind.
- Would we get the house?
- Was our offer going to be too low?
- What could we do to be sure we win the bid?
- I want to MAKE THIS HAPPEN!
- What if we do win the bid? I’d be so happy BUT…then…
- What if there is major inflation soon? Would we still be able to afford the payment?
- What if after we buy it, we find out there are tons of repairs that need to be done?
As the wind continued to whistle outside, the questions circled faster and faster in my mind. Then a thought jumped out at me that was very different from all the others. What if…I just trusted God’s plan?
So, I prayed. Then, having cast all my cares upon Him, I fell back asleep.
Six hours later, I find myself doing a “drive by”; after all, it is a vacant home. I just want to see it again (as if the 50 times I’ve viewed it online were not enough!) And then I see it. Someone’s car is in the driveway. Who is looking at my house? I’m bidding on this house; it’s mine, I begin thinking. Suddenly I’m flooded with thoughts of how I could control this situation to get what I want! Ugh! I hate when this happens. Six hours before, I had just “let go & let God”, and now look at me. I already want to take back control!
As I drove home— annoyed with my behavior— I knew what I needed to do. I needed to increase my faith and trust God. This is what I did, and what I do when I feel my faith is waning.
Pray God’s Word back to Him.
· Proverbs 3:5-6
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
"Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord…”
· Proverbs 19:21
”Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.”
· I remind myself that God always has my best interest in mind. If I pray and have trouble believing what God’s Word says, I next pray what the boy’s father prayed in Mark 9:24 “…I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”
Today, I did not drive by the house. I resisted the urge to try to control my life, and I had peace when I prayed “not my will, Father, but thy will be done.”