Recognizing that the greatest challenge you will face after being wounded by someone is keeping yourself free from anger, bitterness, and resentment, I suggest that your first prayer should be for yourself. Our role is to be pure vessels through which the Holy Spirit can freely flow. We must not harbor anything that will block the flowing of His Spirit within and through us.
Example of a prayer for yourself:
- If you are unable to love and forgive the person, confess that as sin to God. “Lord, forgive me that I have not loved ___ (name of person) as you have loved me (John 13:34-35); that I have not forgiven _______ as you have forgiven me (Ephesians 4:32). Give me Your heart of love and forgiveness for________(the person who wounded you). Please give me ‘a heart of flesh rather than a heart of stone’ (Ezekiel 36:26), and ‘create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me’ (Psalm 51:10). Give me eyes to see ________ as your child whom you love and with whom you long for me to be in unity by the power of the Holy Spirit. Empty me of all that stands in the way of you having full reign in my life, and fill me with Your Holy Spirit! Help me to love you with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength, and to love others as you have loved me. (Matthew 22:36-40 )
If you are tempted to harbor anger, bitterness, and resentment against the person who wounded you, immediately take the thought captive (2nd Corinthians 10:5). Instead of focusing on the sin against you, look to Jesus who bore both your sins and the sins of the person who wounded you. We’ve been commanded to love and pray for others, even our enemies (Matthew 5:44). “God is rich in mercy, full of compassion, not desiring that any should perish but that all should come to know Him and have eternal life. The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you,not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.”(2nd Peter 3:9). Do for the other person what Jesus does for you: intercede!
Example of a prayer for the person who wounded you:
- “Lord, break his/her heart over that which breaks Yours! Give him/her a revelation of how deep your love is for them; draw them to Yourself where they alone can find forgiveness, peace, joy and true and everlasting love. Give them a vision of eternity that they might humble themselves, confess their sin, and turn from it to You. Give him/her the gift of faith so that they might comprehend how deep, wide, long and high is Your love for them so that they might be filled to the full measure of You (Ephesians 3:14-19). May they have “love that abounds more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that they may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ,filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.’ (Philippians 1:9-11)
You cannot pray for someone with love for them and at the same time hold bitterness toward them. Which are you going to allow to grow in your heart….seeds of bitterness that lead to death, or seeds of intercession that spring forth new life? What you choose to do will not only affect the person who wounded you, but even more importantly, it will determine the intimacy of your relationship with Jesus, the most important thing in your life.
Written by JVG