Talking with Your Teen About Porn: Is Today’s Porn Harmless? Part 2of 2 

Do I really need to talk to my son? It seems like viewing porn is pretty harmless and just a normal part of being male these days. Isn’t this just a phase most boys (or young people) go through?

Although it is certainly normal to be curious and interested, the average young male today will not “casually” view pornography without being seriously impacted by what he consumes. There are several reasons for this and therefore several reasons parents need to be talking with their kids about pornography. Here are third and fourth considerations as you weigh the “harmlessness” of porn.

 

1.     Professionals in the field of sexual addiction explain how today’s pornography is very, very different from the images created thirty or forty years ago. The pornography that is accessible today to any child with internet access is incredibly violent, degrading, and destructive. The accurate name for today’s pornography is actually “gonzo” or “gorno” – it is a combination of gore and pornography – and it champions and celebrates brutal sexual violence. Even if an individual does not initially seek out this type of pornography, within approximately 8 minutes of first exposure, gonzo porn will likely be viewed, even if accidentally.

 

Addictions, by nature, create tolerance, and demand something new, more graphic, and more intense to produce the same high. A common refrain among porn viewers is that they find themselves aroused by imagery they never would have imagined enjoying when they first began consuming porn. If you need further information about just how destructive and horrendous the content of pornography is today, there are informational resources available. Unfortunately, it is impossible to grasp the extreme nature of the sexual violence without feeling somewhat emotionally violated yourself, so I won’t post those resources here.

 

Here’s the fourth consideration as you weigh the “harmlessness” of porn:

 

2.     Once interest is piqued, it’s difficult to stop viewing because Internet pornography offers unlimited access to sexually stimulating content, within the context of an anonymous and affordable environment.2 In fact, in our current age of constant access to wireless technology, where the Internet is increasingly porn-saturated, in order to not view sexually explicit content, deliberate protective measures must be taken. It’s no longer necessary for a person to intentionally seek out pornography; nowadays, pornography will come to you. “One study reports that 93% of boys are exposed to Internet porn before the age of 18.”3 The accessibility, affordability, and anonymity of Internet porn, combined with the reward cycle, make it the perfect storm for creating a powerful addiction.

 

Check out additional blogs at GROWCounseling.com on

Talking with Your Teen About Porn: Overcoming the Barriers (when you want to talk with your teen about porn use)

Talking with your Teen About Porn: Preparing Yourself for the Conversation

Talking with your Teen About Porn: Having the Conversation(s)

 

A few great books that address the above themes more thoroughly are:

1.     Wired for Intimacy: How Pornography Hijacks the Mail Brain by Dr. William Struthers

2.     The Porn Trap: The Essential Guide to Overcoming Problems Caused by Pornography by Wendy Maltz and Larry Maltz

3.     Hooked: New Science on How Casual Sex is Affecting Our Children by Joe S. McIlhaney Jr. and Freda McKissic Bush

 

A few free Downloads:

1.     Covenant Eyes: “Your Brain on Porn”

2.     Covenant Eyes: “Parenting the Internet Generation”

3.     Covenant Eyes: “Protecting Your Family Online: A How-To Guide for Parents”

 

Matthew 5:28
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.