Jamie Shaver

5 Reasons You Need to Stop Saying This Word

The word never, is only beneficial when describing things that God has said will never happen or to keep a person safe.  Here are a few examples:

God is never going to change

God will never sin

God will never flood the earth again

Never do drugs

Never drink & drive

dictionary.com defines ‘never’ as:


Nev-er

1. not ever; at no time:

2. not at all; absolutely not:

3. to no extent or degree:

Often I hear people use this word in a way that does significant damage to their spiritual walk.  Here are a few examples about the times we may be tempted to use this word:  

“We know that’s never going to happen….” in response to a relationship problem, marriage issue or work dilemma.

“She’s never going to change” in response to a person

“He’s never going to get accepted” into that program/college/trade school

“They will never agree to that” in response to a governing body or place of employment

“I would never do that” in response to judging someone else’s sin

“He would never say/do that” in response to a bad report from a teacher about your child

“God will never answer this prayer/perform a miracle for me/care about this.”

The word ‘Never’ is a life killer, dream stealer, hope thwarter, and prayer thief.

5 Reasons Why We Need to Stop Using the Word ‘Never’:

1. ‘Never’ is faithless word & without faith we cannot please God  

“And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.”  Hebrews 11:6 NIV

2. ‘Never’ brings death to a situation vs. hope & life which God is the author of

“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”  Proverbs 18:21 NIV


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3. ‘Never’ is not the truth  (unless you’re repeating something God said will never happen.)                                                                  

“Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”’ Matthew 19:26 NIV

4. ‘Never; completely diminishes the power of God in our lives because it is a lie

“Blessed is the man who makes the LORD his trust, who does not turn to the proud, to those who go astray after a lie!” Psalm 40:4

5.   Saying ‘Never’ is worse than doubt, it is making yourself ‘God’ over that situation or person you are praying for or talking about.  The word ‘never’ declares that you are the authority in the matter and it is blasphemous and idolatry.  Our God is a redeemer, an expert in the restoration of all things, He makes all things new, He regenerates people from death to eternal life, and specializes in the impossible!  When you say you believe that God raised Jesus from the dead, and with the same mouth proclaim that He will “never” fix your marriage or change your friend you are a double-minded man!  Look what James 1:6-8 says: “But he must ask in faith, without doubting, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. He is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.”  (bold letter added for emphasis) 

The use of the word ‘never’ in your life keeps you from living a life of faith. 

I challenge you to stop using the word ‘never’ and begin today to replace it with life-giving words of hope and truth from God’s Word.  

“You were wearied with the length of your way, but you did not say, “It is hopeless”; you found new life for your strength, and so you were not faint.”  Isaiah 57:10 ESV

“Even when there was no reason for hope, Abraham kept hoping–believing that he would become the father of many nations. For God had said to him, "That’s how many descendants you will have!”  Romans 4:18 NLT

In what situation do you find yourself in that there may be ‘no reason for hope’ as was the case with Abraham?  Choose to keep on believing in God’s truth today. 

What are you hoping for?  Write out some Bible verses to study and repeat that will bring hope to your life.

Our God specializes in the impossible!

Written by Jamie Shaver

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This is What Courage Fueled By Faith Sounds Like...

In the book of Daniel, 3 friends find themselves faced with death because of a decision they had made to not bow down to a statue of the King, since they only worshipped the One true God. The death sentence was made known to them, specifically that they would be thrown into a huge, hot, fiery furnace and this is how they responded:

“16 Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to him, “King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. 17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. 18 But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up. Daniel 3:16-18 NIV

Here’s what we can learn from these men of God, which John Maxwell writes about in his leadership Bible, when we face situations in our own life that could lead to death. In this example from Scripture they were facing physical death. You may be facing a threat of the death of a relationship, dream, job, family member or even your own physical death. When you find yourself in the moment of crisis what do you say to yourself or others? Let’s look at what these men said:

“the God we serve is able to deliver us from it…” These godly men believed in the omnipotence of God, that nothing was too hard for Him.

“He will deliver us…” They believed in the love of God that acts on behalf of the beloved.

“But even if he does not…” They believed in the sovereignty of God, that He acts on the basis of His own pleasure and will.

“the God we serve”…(v. 17) They not only believed certain things, they acted on them, and had done so all of their lives

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I’d like to add in verse 16 above that these men also knew the truth that “we do not need to defend ourselves.” Jesus is our advocate, He goes before us and God promises to fight our battles. He is the One who alone brings us the victory, the victory that He has promised is ours in Christ Jesus. Be encouraged today, speak life when circumstances arise that threaten you, your life, your God given plans or dreams. With God all things are possible.

Written by Jamie Shaver


Are you curious to know how much fear, worry and anxiety is impacting your life? Take our free quiz to learn how fearful, worried and anxious you really are?

Are You Creating an Insecure Child?

If I were to ask your 5 yr. old a question that he/she could answer like, “Do you like going to school?”  Do you answer for her?  

Recently I was discussing this with a friend who had just experienced the ‘parent answering’ when asking a 14 yr. old boy about his hockey experience.  The father would not allow his son to answer even the most basic question like, “Do you prefer to play offense or defense?”  The father just habitually ‘jumped in’ to answer on behalf of his son.  Why was he doing this?  

Every time parents jump in to answer for a child that is capable of answering the question himself it can communicate several things to the child:

1-you're not smart enough

2-you're not capable 

3-I have a better answer

And in almost every case it loudly communicates: YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH

I believe there are many reasons why a parent may answer questions on behalf of thier child in everyday conversations, do homework or a project for thier child and more.  Whether consciously or subconsciously most of these parental decisions are made with fear as the driving force.   Fear of what others will think of the answer their child gives, fear of what may be the result of a bad grade, fear of thier child being embarrassed etc…   The fear is then accompanied by worry, which occurs when one fearful thought becomes a list of bad ‘problems.’  An example of this would be a parent that does the homework for their child for fear that he would get a bad grade otherwise, and a bad grade on a paper would be a bad grade on his report card, which would mean a low GPA, bad college options, poor job options, financial stress, and eventual homelessness (that’s dramatic I know, but you get the point).  

 

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The problem is, when we allow fear to make our decisions and drive our actions we are more likely to create the very thing we most fear. “What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me.” Job 3:25 NIV. In the example above, a parent who constantly fixes, edits, or does a child’s homework is more likely to create a child that is incapable, incompetent and insecure.  Those traits are more likely to yield enormous amounts of anxiety for the child when they find themselves in a situation where there isn’t someone to ‘jump in’ with an answer to the problem.   These insecure children are also less likely to have fulfilling lives, robust careers or even love and follow Jesus with thier whole hearts.  

Encourage your children to ask tough questions of adults when necessary and appropriate, switch thier own classes in middle school if they don’t like the teacher, look people in the eye and answer the question respectfully, to embrace the lessons “failures” teach and so on.  Above all, teach them to rely on God in all things….Because there’s only one Savior and it’s not you or me!

Written by Jamie Shaver

Are you curious to know how much fear, worry and anxiety is impacting your life? Take our free quiz to learn how fearful, worried and anxious you really are?

A Challenge This Week to Overcome Insecurity!

Do you sometimes feel insecure?  

Have you ever found yourself comparing yourself with others? Or ‘keeping score’ in your mind about what others have done or accomplished?

Do you feel like a victim sometimes?  Or feel that you are owed compensation for your losses?

Are you self-consumed and trying to outdo others for attention?  Or judge others and find yourself in self-pity or full of conceit?

Lastly, do you ever determine that you must take charge, protect your interests and manipulate the situation to get your way?  

Insecure people will often experience one of the above situations on a regular basis.  Insecurities come when we make ourselves an idol instead of keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.  When we are thinking about promises Jesus makes (the Word), the lessons His Spirit wants to teach us (the truth), or the person of Jesus (the way), we do not compare…because we recognize that we have been bought with a price.  That we are not our own, that God takes care of our interests, that He is in control and that even when you are not able…God still is!  There is always hope when we take control of our thoughts and align them with Jesus’.   

So what do you do if you want to reduce personal insecurities?  

There are several things you can do and I’m going to focus on one of them today.  

  1. Build your identity in Christ, not your performance.  Your performance does not define who you are, God does.

  2. Allow God to work in your heart and ask Him to reveal where you are too self-sufficient or self-promoting.  Ask Him to help you be more God-sufficient and Jesus-promoting.

  3. Discover & practice your God-given purpose in life, not someone else’s (stop trying to act, talk, present, or do anything the way someone else does it…do it the way you were created to do it!)

  4. Learn to give and receive affirmation.  


Giving compliments is a gift

When people are insecure, they have a hard time accepting affirmation even if they are good at giving it.  If I say, “I love your shirt, it’s really cute.” I will get a response that removes the value of the shirt or compliment that sounds like this, “Oh not really, I’ve had it forever…I got it on clearance…” as if to tell me, “it’s really not that cute, I’m not worthy and neither is this shirt of your compliment.”  If I were to tell you that a compliment from another person is like a gift that they bought and wrapped to give you on your birthday, would you still totally reject it?  When your insecurities keep you from accepting compliments, praise or affirmation at face value then you are rejecting a gift that another person wants to give you.  

In working with people over the years I have learned that often insecure people are insecure because they judge others harshly and therefore feel as though the internal thoughts of others are equally as harsh toward them.  To overcome this I want you to practice giving genuine compliments to others wherever you go.  Find something truthful, that is positive to say to brighten someone else’s day.  Your challenge this week is to genuinely compliment someone each day.  God tells us that it is a greater blessing to give than to receive.  The second part of this challenge is if someone compliments you, that you simply say, “Thank you so much,” with a big smile and receive the kindness.  

God loves you so much that He holds nothing back!  He was even willing to give His very own Son!  “He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?”  

Thank God for all that He has done for you, and receive His love and then share it with others.  You can have security when you live your life from the outpouring of His love for you and for others.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made, and you have been given the mind of Christ~

Love ya,

Jamie

Romans 8:32
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Past Experience Creating Fear Today and How To Overcome it!

It was in March 2013 that I was diagnosed, treated and miraculously healed from flesh eating bacteria in my left arm, and many of you reading this were a wonderful part of that story through your prayers.    That was a very traumatic time in my life and I thought I was going to die.  I have often found that times when I experience fear can be related to painful things I have had to endure in the past.  Is the same true for you?  For instance, when I feel an ‘odd’ pain in my body I often will think, “What’s that pain?  Is it ‘flesh eating bacteria again?” 

And if I don’t catch my thoughts, then the next thoughts will roll in like a storm cloud of worry, “That would be terrible if I got it again! And what if it was in my chest cavity this time?  Doctors said I could get it again, and nobody knows how I got it the first time.  How would I know?  Doctors said I was in such excruciating pain early on in the infection last time because it was in my arm where there was not a lot of space; imagine if it were in my chest? I’d surely not have the same outcome as last time. What if they wouldn’t catch it this time?”   

When I have entertained those thoughts for too long, instead of taking them captive like scripture tells us to do, then I find myself in a gown at the doctor’s office!  I can admit to you that I have gone to the doctor’s office twice in the last six years because I wanted them to assure me that I didn’t have ‘flesh eating bacteria’ again.  Upon arrival and after I share with the nurse and the doctor why I am there, all I can say is, “It’s a good thing I don’t have much fear about what other people think because they all looked at me like I was a crazy person!”  

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While in a hospital a couple years ago, I felt myself begin to have terrible anxiety and I began to cry just seeing the equipment and smelling the distinct ‘you’re in a hospital’ smell.  The familiar sounds of machines and the carts full of medical supplies triggered something in my mind that caught me off guard.  At first it seemed totally out of my control, I was just cyring, but then I practiced CPR and ‘True Viewed’ the situaton (tried to see it from God’s perspective based on His Word) and this is what I realized:

Confessed: I’m scared right now because this place reminds me of the trauma you let me go through God. 

In your situation you could say: I’m scared, I don’t understand why you allowed or are allowing _____________ (fill in the blank).

I Professed truth- Your ways are higher than my ways. You are love, God. God, you have an eternal perspective…You alone know what eternal rewards are waiting, and You alone are perfect in all of Your ways.  

I had to Reset my thinking- What we focus on does get bigger.  I had to set some goals to reset my mind “on things above”, not on earthly things.

I realized in resetting my mind that I was believing a couple of lies:

1)  I was believing the lie that God is not trustworthy because I experienced something difficult in the past that I would not have chosen for myself.

2) I also believed the lie that I am more just than God; I would not allow these difficulties into my life or the lives of most others if I were Him.  This is making myself the idol or the ‘god of my own life.’  I want to believe for myself along with my awesome family, friends & neighbors that we all do not deserve ‘bad things’ to happen. Only terrorists and ‘bad people’ (which I will define based on my understanding) deserve ‘bad and challenging things’ to happen to them.  

I often need the reminder that God’s Word tells us that because of our sin we all deserve death, hell and damnation.  Hmmm.  I don’t like that truth, skip.   No, just because I don’t like it doesn’t mean it is not true.  I need a reminder sometimes of what is true.  What is true is that while we were yet sinners and deserving of death, hell and an eternity separate from God, that He died for us, so that whoever believes in Him would never die but would have eternal life.  That He will never leave us or forsake us, that He has taken on human form to be with us, that He is a living God who sees, hears and fights for us.  That He sees and knows the end from the beginning, that there is a plan and purpose for our lives, and that He can be trusted.  The same God who formed the stars, set them in place and calls them all by name, and holds the world together is the same God that is holding my hand and yours.  Trust Him.  Faith your Fear!  

Written by Jamie Shaver

For more reading on this topic of who God is compared to who we are I encourage you to read below Job 38-40:5 ESV.  After an onslaught of horrific loss and devastation to a degree to which I cannot even comprehend in Job’s life (a righteous man) he questions God.  God responds by reminding Job of Who He is, that His ways are in fact higher than our ability to comprehend or understand.  In the end, which I’ve made bold for you below, Job agrees that he will proceed no further to question God.   

The Book of Job



Chapter 38

The LORD Answers Job

1Then the LORD answered Job out of the whirlwind and said:

2“Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge?

3Dress for actiona like a man;

I will question you, and you make it known to me.

4“Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?

Tell me, if you have understanding.

5Who determined its measurements—surely you know!

Or who stretched the line upon it?

6On what were its bases sunk,

or who laid its cornerstone,

7when the morning stars sang together

and all the sons of God shouted for joy?

8“Or who shut in the sea with doors

when it burst out from the womb,

9when I made clouds its garment

and thick darkness its swaddling band,

10and prescribed limits for it

and set bars and doors,

11and said, ‘Thus far shall you come, and no farther,

and here shall your proud waves be stayed’?

12“Have you commanded the morning since your days began,

and caused the dawn to know its place,

13that it might take hold of the skirts of the earth,

and the wicked be shaken out of it?

14It is changed like clay under the seal,

and its features stand out like a garment.

15From the wicked their light is withheld,

and their uplifted arm is broken.

16“Have you entered into the springs of the sea,

or walked in the recesses of the deep?

17Have the gates of death been revealed to you,

or have you seen the gates of deep darkness?

18Have you comprehended the expanse of the earth?

Declare, if you know all this.

19“Where is the way to the dwelling of light,

and where is the place of darkness,

20that you may take it to its territory

and that you may discern the paths to its home?

21You know, for you were born then,

and the number of your days is great!

22“Have you entered the storehouses of the snow,

or have you seen the storehouses of the hail,

23which I have reserved for the time of trouble,

for the day of battle and war?

24What is the way to the place where the light is distributed,

or where the east wind is scattered upon the earth?

25“Who has cleft a channel for the torrents of rain

and a way for the thunderbolt,

26to bring rain on a land where no man is,

on the desert in which there is no man,

27to satisfy the waste and desolate land,

and to make the ground sprout with grass?

28“Has the rain a father,

or who has begotten the drops of dew?

29From whose womb did the ice come forth,

and who has given birth to the frost of heaven?

30The waters become hard like stone,

and the face of the deep is frozen.

31“Can you bind the chains of the Pleiades

or loose the cords of Orion?

32Can you lead forth the Mazzarothb in their season,

or can you guide the Bear with its children?

33Do you know the ordinances of the heavens?

Can you establish their rule on the earth?

34“Can you lift up your voice to the clouds,

that a flood of waters may cover you?

35Can you send forth lightnings, that they may go

and say to you, ‘Here we are’?

36Who has put wisdom in the inward partsc

or given understanding to the mind?d

37Who can number the clouds by wisdom?

Or who can tilt the waterskins of the heavens,

38when the dust runs into a mass

and the clods stick fast together?

39“Can you hunt the prey for the lion,

or satisfy the appetite of the young lions,

40when they crouch in their dens

or lie in wait in their thicket?

41Who provides for the raven its prey,

when its young ones cry to God for help,

and wander about for lack of food?

Chapter 39

1“Do you know when the mountain goats give birth?

Do you observe the calving of the does?

2Can you number the months that they fulfill,

and do you know the time when they give birth,

3when they crouch, bring forth their offspring,

and are delivered of their young?

4Their young ones become strong; they grow up in the open;

they go out and do not return to them.

5“Who has let the wild donkey go free?

Who has loosed the bonds of the swift donkey,

6to whom I have given the arid plain for his home

and the salt land for his dwelling place?

7He scorns the tumult of the city;

he hears not the shouts of the driver.

8He ranges the mountains as his pasture,

and he searches after every green thing.

9“Is the wild ox willing to serve you?

Will he spend the night at your manger?

10Can you bind him in the furrow with ropes,

or will he harrow the valleys after you?

11Will you depend on him because his strength is great,

and will you leave to him your labor?

12Do you have faith in him that he will return your grain

and gather it to your threshing floor?

13“The wings of the ostrich wave proudly,

but are they the pinions and plumage of love?a

14For she leaves her eggs to the earth

and lets them be warmed on the ground,

15forgetting that a foot may crush them

and that the wild beast may trample them.

16She deals cruelly with her young, as if they were not hers;

though her labor be in vain, yet she has no fear,

17because God has made her forget wisdom

and given her no share in understanding.

18When she rouses herself to flee,b

she laughs at the horse and his rider.

19“Do you give the horse his might?

Do you clothe his neck with a mane?

20Do you make him leap like the locust?

His majestic snorting is terrifying.

21He pawsc in the valley and exults in his strength;

he goes out to meet the weapons.

22He laughs at fear and is not dismayed;

he does not turn back from the sword.

23Upon him rattle the quiver,

the flashing spear, and the javelin.

24With fierceness and rage he swallows the ground;

he cannot stand still at the sound of the trumpet.

25When the trumpet sounds, he says ‘Aha!’

He smells the battle from afar,

the thunder of the captains, and the shouting.

26“Is it by your understanding that the hawk soars

and spreads his wings toward the south?

27Is it at your command that the eagle mounts up

and makes his nest on high?

28On the rock he dwells and makes his home,

on the rocky crag and stronghold.

29From there he spies out the prey;

his eyes behold it from far away.

30His young ones suck up blood,

and where the slain are, there is he.”




Chapter 40

1And the LORD said to Job:

2“Shall a faultfinder contend with the Almighty?

He who argues with God, let him answer it.”

3Then Job answered the LORD and said:

4“Behold, I am of small account; what shall I answer you?

I lay my hand on my mouth.

5I have spoken once, and I will not answer;

twice, but I will proceed no further.”







Are you curious to know how much fear, worry and anxiety is impacting your life? Take our free quiz to learn how fearful, worried and anxious you really are?

4 Lies You May Believe if You Have Fear of a Bad Health Diagnosis

It was a Saturday morning when my husband called on his way home from our chiropractor, and his tone of voice was serious.  “I have to come clean with you about something,” he said.   Oh great!  What bomb is he about to drop?! I thought as my heart rate began to rev up.  My husband is ‘Mr. Happy Go Lucky’ type of personality, when things are bad he makes jokes, what could this be?  That’s when he begins to explain that for the last 6-8 months he has had excruciating pain in his stomach that was radiating to his back and he thought he had stomach cancer and didn’t say anything because he did not want to worry me.  He then proceeds to tell me that he even looked it up online and figured based on that information that he had about a month left to live!  

“So for the last 6-8 months you thought you were dying of stomach cancer?” I asked as if I did not hear him correctly the first time.  “And you never thought about going to a Dr.?”  

“Yeah, I didn’t want to get that kind of news,” he responded solemnly.

“Ok, but instead you have been worried about it non-stop for months?  You know stress, worry and anxiety actually MAKE people sick!  Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked trying to be sympathetic although my feelings were hurt that he hadn’t shared this with me sooner.

“I just thought if I could ignore it long enough it would go away, I kept telling myself that I didn’t have stomach cancer and that’s why I’m calling.  The chiropractor mentioned that I’ve been in to see him more than ever before and was shocked to see me again this morning.  I finally broke down and told him about my stomach problems and the way it’s radiating pain to my back and that’s when I got the news…after asking more questions he told me all my symptoms were ‘textbook’ gall bladder problems, so I’m calling with good news…I’m not going to die!  I don’t have stomach cancer!”  He’s laughing now and I could literally hear the smile on his face.  (In case you’re wondering, I was not laughing.)

What makes faith-filled people so afraid of going to the Dr. and receiving a diagnosis?  We know we have heaven, we know who God is, we know God can bring healing, so why the fear?

All of our fears have lies at the root of them.  Lies about who God is, what He promises and life in general.  So what lies were at the root of his fear?  


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Here’s several I came up with:

LIE 1)- That telling me would cause me to worry.  No, it would cause me to pray!

LIE 2)- That hearing bad news, like “you have stomach cancer” would mean he was definitely going to die.  No, God could choose to heal.

LIE 3)- That ignoring the situation would make it ‘go away.’  No, ignoring situations usually makes things worse.  We are to face situations boldly, especially situations where we feel our life is being threatened because we have a God that fights for us.  He will never leave us or forsake us.

LIE 4) If you did die from cancer, that dying is bad.  I understand that we don’t need to be excited about dying, however, God has told us in His Word that ‘to die is gain.’  We also know that we never really die, we just get a new body and reside in a new location.  

Is there something going on in your life that you need to ‘come clean on?’  I challenge you to write a list of some of the fears you have that are causing you to live in secret pain.  After you write the list of fears you have, write the lies that you’re believing about who God is and what His Word says. Perfect love casts out all fear.  Do you really know how much God loves you?  

Written by Jamie Shaver

Are you curious to know how much fear, worry and anxiety is impacting your life? Take our free quiz to learn how fearful, worried and anxious you really are?

Are You Teaching Your Children to Fear, or to Have Faith?

Are you afraid your child will fail, or not reach their dreams?  Are you trying to protect them by keeping their dreams ‘realistic’?  

Would God agree with your decision? Or is fear DRIVING you to make the choices you make?

“You’re never going to make it!” sneered one boy.

  “You’re actually trying out for that team?” another asked with raised eyebrows.

“Seriously Shaver?!  You’re not good enough!” proclaimed another boy.  The locker room soon became filled with little boys assuring my son that his thoughts of making an AAA hockey team (2 major levels up from the team he was playing for at the time) were too far fetched.  

In talking to the parents, they would say things like, “Oh Johnny isn’t going to tryout for that team, he’s just not good enough..so you’re really letting Tyler tryout, huh?”  

We responded with, “Of course, we’re going to let him try out. We’re not going to tell him he won’t make it; we’ll let the coaches determine that.” 

We also were not afraid of having our son experience rejection, or what some would see as failure. Why would rejection be bad?  If he were to be denied a position on the team, we knew we could use it as an opportunity to reinforce to him that his identity is in Christ.  We would encourage him that if he continued to work hard, developed a solid work ethic, and continued practicing at home, he could always try again next year.

What is the lie most people believe who fear rejection? 



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That their self-worth— or that of their children’s— is determined by man’s definition of success.  If making the team is man’s definition of success and my child will likely not make the cut, then should I do everything I can to protect him from that pain?  

No, let him try out.  Let him learn to grow through the pain so his mind becomes strong.  This is a great opportunity to help him learn ‘to take every thought captive’.  Teach him that success is the willingness to try; success is trusting God even if the desired outcome seems like a slim chance.

My son made that AAA team that year…to everyone else’s surprise.  Then, for the next 3 years he attempted to make the highest level AAA team, and every year he was rejected.  When Tyler asked why he wasn’t selected, a coach crouched down, looking him in the eyes and said, “You’re not good enough…keep working.”  I would not trade those rejections for all of his successes!  He learned perseverance, to trust God with where he was placed, and ultimately and most importantly, that his worth was not connected to his performance on the ice, in the classroom, or anywhere else.

When you protect your child from the pain of rejection you deny him the opportunity to recognize that rejection doesn’t define him.  I also like to tell my kids that, “Rejection is sometimes God’s protection”. God could be protecting you in ways you may never know or understand. 

When we determine that our kids are ‘cut’ before they even try, we are becoming ‘God’ in their lives.  We are making ourselves the idol.  We will work hard to be ‘right’ about and justify our decision, instead of trusting the whole situation to God. 

If you delight yourself in God, God says that He will give you the desire of your heart (Psalm 37:4).  He is known for doing great feats through weak and unlikely people; maybe the next person He is going to use is your son or daughter.  Do not fear rejection. Instead, celebrate the opportunity God has given to you or your child to step out in faith! After all, with God all things are possible!

After being denied 3 times, Tyler’s 4th attempt to make the team he most desired to be on was a success; he just completed his first season on that top team.  We regularly look back in awe at what we would have missed out on had any of us allowed the statements of those locker room boys or their parents to dictate our decision regarding Tyler’s tryout 4 years ago.  We thank God that we knew to listen to the voice of the Good Shepherd who says, “This is the way, walk in it!”

Written by Jamie Shaver

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